Questions help us to connect with one an other, it’s a way of knowing how one thinks and how they came to think and process their thought the way they do.
Then, we have a choice, either ask questions to make someone feel ashamed or downgraded, ask questions and not really listen, or ask questions because we are genuinely interested in someones story, in what they have to say.
With that in mind, what do you think will happen if instead of asking someone “why do you think like that?” we asked: “how did you come to think like that?” ; instead of asking “why would you make that decision?” we asked: “how did you come to making that decision?”
The kind of questions we ask makes the conversation either defensive and closed off or open and enjoyable.
Frank's Blog 