When we only list the positives of our position, the other person becomes tasked with emphasizing the negatives. But if we include both the positives and negatives in our own arguments and for each other’s arguments then it will help us come to a decision that considers all factors and helps us see eye to eye, even if we don’t completely agree.
It’s Called the Robert Johnson’s Polarity Management Grid. Here is how it works:
- Draw a cross. On the left side is Position A. On the right side is Position B. On the top left quadrant, the person with Position B will list the positive aspects of the OTHER’S argument. On the bottom left, they will list the negative aspects. On the right side, the person with Position A will do the same for the OTHER ARGUMENT.
Let’s say Position A is letting your kid play with other kids and Position B is keeping them home. Position B will write the positives of Position A (“it will make them less lonely; they will spend less time on screens; they need social time) and the negatives (they have asthma; grandma lives with us). Position A will do the same for Position B.
H/T to Esther Perel for this insight on yesterday’s monthly newsletter which can be found here.