Critics are those who give us feedback in and on our life, they think they are doing us a favor with all their advice and feedback and deep down they believe they are helping but the truth of the matter is they are not. In the end they make us feel bad about what we did and they do not empower us to take the next step. After talking to them we don’t feel like we have what it takes to face what’s been blocking us.
A coach, on the other hand, is someone who believe in us, who see us for all the things we can achieve and not critic us for the wrong we’ve done. We all need a coach in our life; and if you are a leader, you are a coach too, because that’s what leader do, they coach people into getting better, doing better, and being better.
How do you know if you’re being a coach or a critic?
Here are 5 phrases that a coach will never use:
- The phrases always and never. These words have in them an absolute statement, like a reality that you can’t overcome no matter what you do. It’s like the person (the critic) talking to you is placing their limitations on you.
- The phrases you should and you shouldn’t. No, you should or shouldn’t do anything because someone else told you. A coach is there to advise you, to show you how high you can reach and it’s up to you to make a decision of what you should or shouldn’t do.
- The phrase can’t. If you’re talking to someone and you hear them say “you can’t keep doing that,..” they are a critic. Instead what they want to say is something like this: ” I understand what you’re going through, and when I was in that exact situation here are the things that worked for me,… and I would like to know what do you think would work for you?”
Coaches are there to see in us what we don’t see yet, have high hopes for us, make us feel empowered and give us just enough strength to take the next step.
Don’t be a critic, Be a coach!