English as a second language

In my experience with learning English, it is a very easy language to learn and to master, but sometimes our main language doesn’t make it easy for us to get the accent right. Most people I know who learned English after their 15th birthday, all have an accent.

Does having an accent, make you not worth the time to be listened to? Does it mean you don’t have interesting things to talk about? Of course not. I’ve had a lot of interesting conversations ,in English, with people who don’t really speak English.

Who needs to do the extra work then?

The one learning the language and trying to express their ideas or the one with perfect English and wishing they could understand what’s being said?

I think both. Those of us who are learning needs not to try and get rid of our accents because we probably won’t be able to (and it’s what makes us, us) but we need to try and do a lot of work so that we can explain our ideas and have meaningful conversations, and for those with English as their primary language (they need to do a lot more work), they need to be able to extend some grace and be patient with us, they need not to assume what we mean by what we are saying, but ask us questions to fully understand what we actually mean, they need to applaud the courage of those trying to excel in an other language, they should be willing to extend their hand further more, after all, it’s their language!

“No problem” is a problem

I live under the illusion that not having problems is how life is supposed to be. I want to go to bed knowing that my family and friends are happy and healthy, I want to wake up feeling energized and ready to take on the day, I want to have a clear calendar so I can do things that I enjoy doing like reading, listening to podcasts, walking, talking to friends, writing,… I want to go through the day with a clear mind and no bad thoughts of any kind, I want to feel safe and to know that I’m loved and adored by my family and my friends,…

I just described what I think would be a perfect day for me, and I have no idea if it would, since I have never had a day like that. I realize that having a day like that might bring happiness and joy but waiting to have a perfect day for me to be happy and joyful is insane, having a perfect day isn’t the destiny, it’s not something to strive for and maybe one day to reach; but the destiny is in the pursuit.
I should strive for happiness and joy while working towards what I think is a perfect day.

Cheers to this amazing journey!

On Doing Your Best

We do our very best, but sometimes it’s just not good enough. We buckle our seat belts, we wear a helmet, we stick to the lighted paths, we try to be safe. We try so hard to protect ourselves, but it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference. Cause when the bad things come, they come out of nowhere. The bad things come suddenly, with no warning. But we forget that sometimes that’s how the good things come too. – Meredith Grey

You get to be called a wise person

Making mistakes is part of life. The goal is to not make the same mistake twice. If you make a mistake, take some time to reflect on what happened and why it happened and what to do next time you’re in the same situation. And sooner you get to be called a wise person(not because you make fewer mistakes, but because you don’t make the same mistakes as you used to)!

Two kinds of “I’m sorry”

The first one is about letting the other person feel seen and heard. When a colleague tells you how they got stuck on a traffic light and ended up getting to work late, most people don’t bother saying “I’m sorry that happened to you!” We feel like there is no point in saying that, we didn’t cause the lights to not turn green why bother saying I’m sorry? But “I’m sorry” might be all your colleague wants! Just because you didn’t cause their pain or frustration, it doesn’t mean that you can’t make them feel seen and heard!

The second one is the one we all know about. You forget to pass the store and get milk on your way back from work, you get home and you say to your spouse “I’m sorry…”. This one is about letting the other person know that you’re aware of what you did and you take for responsibility of the outcome. And remember, just because you said “I’m sorry”, the other person doesn’t have to let go of the thing, it might also mean you respect their time to process what happened and that you accept whatever decision they make.

We need more people saying “I’m sorry”, often!

Favorite Prayers!

Something happened today and it reminded me of my two favorite prayers:

  1. The Serenity Prayer
    “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    the courage to change the things I can,
    and the wisdom to know the difference”.
  2. The Dunning-Kruger Prayer
    “God let me be smart enough to know how dumb I am,
    and give me the courage to carry on anyway”.

There are so many things that happen and I wish I had the means or the power to change them, and the first prayer always reminds me that often I can’t change what happens, sometimes it’s just best to accept what happened and try and move forward.

More learning to do.

Moving forward

It frustrates me to hear people say “you need to move on”, because it implies that you need to leave that which got you stuck, hurt, confused, … in the past. To keep going as if those things never happened.
You can’t leave your past, in the past. It’s always with you, it’s a part of who you are.
Instead of ‘moving on’, how about ‘moving forward’? Moving forward with all our hurts and joys, with all of our past, nothing behind.

No such thing as ‘new normal’

I doesn’t help to wish to go back to the way things used to be, everything is always changing and there is always going to be a new normal.

I’ve had a chipped front tooth since I was a junior in high school. In 2015, I had it fixed but after a few months, I woke up one day and it had came off and I had no idea what happened or where the chipped tooth went!

Last Thursday, more than 5 years later, I went to see my dentist to get it fixed again. I have to say, it feels very weird having a full tooth after a long time and it’s very uncomfortable! But It doesn’t help to think of how it used to be and yearn to go back, because honestly, how it used to be, sucked! it helps to know that there is always going to be a new normal and brace yourself for the ride!

This, we call ‘new normal’ is just normal. Everything is always changing and that’s just ‘normal’.