What if this happened?

What if we prayed like it all depends on God?

What if we worked like it all depends on us?

What if we strived for great relationships like we’re going to die tomorrow?

What if we saved like a pessimist?

What if we invested like an optimist?

I wonder …

5-Frank Points Friday

Hi All!

Here is your weekly dose of “5-Frank Points Friday,” a list of what I’m pondering and exploring.

What I’m listening –

James Baldwin’s Fire on the Throughline Podcast. James Baldwin wrote incessantly about the societal issues that existed 60 years ago and well before then, and still exist today. In this episode Eddie S. Glaude Jr. talks about what James stood for, what each individual needs to do, what questions we need to ask and what, as a nation, we need to act upon for the next 50 years won’t be like the last.

What I just finished watching –

Freakonomics. A documentary movie that explore the hidden side of everything. It is based on a bestselling book called Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J Dubner. What I enjoyed most in this documentary was when they showed how using incentives you can get kids to get good grades and which influence your name has on your life.

Game I enjoy –

Sudoku. I personally have an actual book where I play the game with a pencil and an eraser, which works great for me because I do enjoy thinking on paper but you can play a free online version at sudoku.com. It’s a numbers game and it requires a lot of thinking which I happen to love!

What I’m thinking –

I was listening to The Tim Ferriss Show on an episode titled “My Healing Journey After Childhood Abuse” which he says it is the most important podcast episode he has ever published. Towards the end of this episode he pose these questions and they were life changing for me:

  • What are you unwilling to feel?
  • How can you use your suffering to connect to people rather than isolate?

Quote I’m pondering –

“Everyone is struggling with battles you know nothing about.”

Tim Ferris on The Tim Ferris Show.

And, as always, please give me feedback on Twitter. Which point above is your favorite? What do you want more or less of? Other suggestions? Please let me know. Just send a tweet to @realfrankibanga and put #5FrankPointsFriday at the end so I can find it.

Have a wonderful weekend, all.

Much love to you and yours,


Arguing for better

Before you start arguing, what if you asked the person on the other side; what do you want to know for you to change your mind? What proof do you want to see?

And instead of arguing based on how you both feel or one of you feel about the situation, you both argue based on facts, data.

And also be prepared for your mind to change just as much you’re willing to change theirs at the very least seek to understand what made them come to think how they think.

Be kind!

Everyone is going through something, everyone is fighting battles that you know nothing about.

May we have the strength to deal with our demons and to be empathetic with and to those around us.


Leave a Light on…

Yesterday as I was going through my notes on my phone, there was a note where I wrote a song title called Leave a Light on by Tom Walker. The song was so good that I decided to write the title in my notes so I won’t forget it. After finding the note I listened to the song and it really spoke to me. Here are some excerpts from the song:

“If you look into the distance, there’s a house upon the hill guiding like a lighthouse, it’s a place where you’ll be safe to feel our grace ’cause we’ve all made mistakes. If you’ve lost your way… I will leave the light on”

“Tell me what’s been happening, what’s been on your mind? Lately you’ve been searching for a darker place to hide, that’s alright. But if you carry on abusing, you’ll be robbed from us, I refuse to lose another friend to drugs, just come home, don’t let go.”


Nobody else is responsible for our own fulfillment

When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising.

This can go on and on–series polygamy–until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”

~ Tom Robbins

When God Created Mothers

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”

And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.”

It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. God nodded.

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”

God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….”

I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.”

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.

But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

Can it think?”

Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”

What’s it for?”

It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

You are a genius, ” said the angel.

Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.”

A poem by Erma Bombeck

5-Frank Points Friday

Hi All,

I have been thinking of starting to share with you some cool things I found each week, in addition to my daily blog, this can be anything ranging from a cool song I have been listening to, what I’m reading, what I’m watching, what food I’m enjoying and so much more,…

It will be 5 things every week and I’m going to share it with you every Friday. I hope it will be fun and interesting to you as It is for me to share them with you!


So, here is your first dose of “5-Frank Points Friday,” a list of what I’m pondering and exploring.

What I’m listening –

Guy Raz on the Tim Ferris show. I enjoyed listening to Guy talk with Tim about his new book called “How I built this” and what touched me during this conversation is hearing Guy talking about his depression, how he dealt with it and what it meant and still means for him.

What I’m reading –

Story number 100 from The Genocide Against the Rwandan Tutsis: One hundred stories you should know by Eric Kayihura. A short, fun and real story about a guy whose dog is killed and from anger and power, he kills everyone related to the guy who killed his dog. This story is from a book that he is currently in the middle of putting together and he is going to be sharing some of these stories on his facebook page. Eric also happens to be my dad!!

What I just finished watching –

The Secret: Dare to Dream. After watching a Netflix documentary based on a book by Rhonda Byrne called the secret, I was excited to hear that they were playing a movie based on this book. the movie is about a widow with three children who hires a handyman to fix her house during a major storm. When not doing home repairs, he shares his philosophy of believing in the power of the universe to deliver what we want.

What I’m thinking –

Love and hurt go together. The only way to guarantee to never be hurt again is to never love again.

Quote I’m pondering –

If you need to conceal your true nature to get in the door, understand that you’ll probably have to conceal your true nature to keep that job.

Seth Godin in Linchpin

And, as always, please give me feedback on Twitter. Which point above is your favorite? What do you want more or less of? Other suggestions? Please let me know. Just send a tweet to @realfrankibanga and put #5FrankPointsFriday at the end so I can find it.

Have a wonderful weekend, all.

Much love to you and yours,