What people think of you matters.

Of course it does. Try to walk naked in the streets and see what happens. Don’t brush your teeth for a month and see what people say to you. Be a jerk (or real) to people and see if you have anyone around you. What people think of you should matter to you.

Now the question is, which people should be able to speak into your life? which ones should have a say in your everyday life? You get to choose who they are. Probably not your mother in-law (for most people anyways) but definitely your spouse, and everyone else you choose.

These are the people who will say; ‘hey take down that picture you just posted, that’s not who you are or who you want to be’ and you will take down the picture before asking them what they mean. These are the people who will cheer you on when you’re doing something incredible, get promotion, start a business,.. they will also chew your butt for not doing what you said you will do, when you starting to cut corners,…

If other people’s thoughts of you matter, why not choose those whose voice you will hear, those to speak into your life? And it’s easier if you have a list of these people before hand and if these people also know the journey you’re on and their role in that journey!

She is a person too.

That person who is challenging, hard to get a long with, demanding, jealous, not easy to work with,… is a person. She knows what she knows, she believes what she believes, she wants what she wants and it’s different from what you know, what you believe and what you want; and if you’re gonna work with her, that has to be okay.
If it’s not okay, if it’s completely using you up, don’t work there. By all means, your day, your week, your month is too valuable to give up, if you’re gonna take it personally.
But if you realize that she doesn’t see what you see or want what you want and that’s okay, you have figured out that you work with someone who you can manage as much as she is managing you.
Are you willing to give her what she wants in exchange for all other things that you get?

This is also true in friendship, church members, family (not for married couples though) and other relationships . . .

5-Frank Points Friday

Hi All!

Here is your weekly dose of “5-Frank Points Friday,” a list of what I’m pondering and exploring.

What I’m listening to –

Waah (YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music) – A great song by Diamond Platnumz (Instagram) featuring Koffi Olomide (Instagram). This song entails a few dance moves from East Africa and it’s a great listen after a long day or simply if you’re looking for a change of mood! Check it out, and you will see what I mean!

TV Show I just finished watching

Taken – A Netflix short TV Serie (Only 2 Seasons) that I highly recommend if you like action movies. The series follows a former Green Beret, Bryan Mills played by Clive Standen, as he deals with a personal tragedy that shakes his world. As he fights to overcome the incident and exact revenge, Mills is pulled into a career as a deadly CIA operative.
My wife and I, enjoyed watching it together.

New Word/Term I learned –

Preference falsification – The act of misrepresenting one’s want because of perceived social pressure.
This helped me explain a lot of my behavior, why I do certain things I do, where they came from and why people close to me perceive me a certain way!
The term was described by Timur Kuran, a Turkish American economist and Professor of Economics and Political Science at Duke University, on a recent episode of The Hidden Brain Podcast called A conspiracy of Silence.

5 Questions to ask before making a decision –

From Andy Stanley‘s new book ” Better decisions, fewer regrets.”

* Why am I doing this, really?
* What story do I want to tell?
* Is there attention that deserves my attention?
* What’s the wise thing to do?
* What does love require of me?

You can listen to Andy Stanley explain why these 5 questions and how he came up with them on The Entreleadership Podcast!

Quote I’m pondering –

Do for one what you wish to do for many.”
Andy Stanley

And, as always, please give me feedback on Twitter. Which point above is your favorite? What do you want more or less of? Other suggestions? Please let me know. Just send a tweet to @realfrankibanga and put #5FrankPointsFriday at the end so I can find it.

Have a wonderful weekend, all.

Much love to you and yours,

Frank

Stop being real!

No one wants to be around people who think they are being real with you. We all know those people as mean, self-centered and insensitive. Instead of being real, a little kindness and respect could go a long way. Instead of telling people what they did wrong or their short comings, how about we ask questions? Questions like these:

Hey, I notice you were mean to the server, is everything okay?
How did you come to see world, the way you do?
What’s it like walking in your shoes, with everything you’ve been through?
. . .

Time you enjoy wasting…

It’s that time of the year! I consider the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, days to slow down, to pause and meditate on how the year went and what we could’ve done better. It’s the time to check on how we are doing with our goals and maybe set new ones. It’ time to relax and rest. it’s time to get enough sleep. It’s time to be with our family and loved ones. To those who have the luxury to take some time off, make sure you get enough rest and get ready for 2021.

Remember, as Marthe Troly-Curtin put it, ‘time you enjoy wasting, is not wasted time!’

The Key to happiness.

Maybe Shakespeare was right. Maybe all the world was a stage. Maybe without the act everything would fall apart. The key to happiness wasn’t being yourself, because what did that even mean? Everyone had many selves. No. The key to happiness is finding the lie that suits you best.
~ Matt Haig

5-Frank Points Friday

Hi All!

Here is your weekly dose of “5-Frank Points Friday,” a list of what I’m pondering and exploring.

What I’m watching

X-Men movies – If you ever had a chance to watch any of these movies, you know that they are stellar. Lately I’ve had the chance to watch them from the very first one and it’s amazing to see how the whole story unfolds. Great movies!

Podcast I have been enjoying listening to


Global News Podcast – From BBC World Service. I like listening to this podcast to get a quick glimpse on what’s happening around the world in about 30min.

Great website I found –

Peddle – It’s a quick and easy website where you can sell your car. When I found it, I thought it was to good to be true, I had a junk car that I didn’t know what to do with, then I found Peddle. I typed in my car’s info, a couple of minutes later they gave me a quote of how much they will give me for them to come and take it (which was $215), and boom the next day, they showed up and took the car and gave me my check. Hassle free and great customer care!

What I’m thinking –

How would the world look like, if everyone on this earth was kind?
What if we were kind to those who are not kind to us?

Quote I’m pondering –

Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.”
Jim Rohn

And, as always, please give me feedback on Twitter. Which point above is your favorite? What do you want more or less of? Other suggestions? Please let me know. Just send a tweet to @realfrankibanga and put #5FrankPointsFriday at the end so I can find it.

Have a wonderful weekend, all.

Much love to you and yours,

Frank