Beliefs becoming our identity.

Beliefs are what we think to be true. Values are what we think are important.

When we mix the two, and take our beliefs to also be our values. Then, it’s hard to question our beliefs since they are now part of who we are, our identity.

Question your beliefs, and be ready to change them as new information comes in, and you reach new understanding. Be curious, find ways that support your beliefs or ways against them, argue them to better understand not only your beliefs but also the beliefs of the other side.

Question what you believe to be true, often!

Life is finite

In January, we celebrated my mum’s birthday. It was special not only for my mum, but also for the whole family. Even though it was a video call, it felt like I was there. I could see my mum’s tears of joy and a smile on her face, and it made me feel great.
My sister reminded me of something. In her letter to mum, she reminded me that life is finite, one day we won’t be here, we might as well let those we care about, know; and we should remind them as often as possible.
I don’t have to wait on someone to have a big day to let them know I’m here and I care. I can and I will do that as often as possible. Thank you sis for this reminder!

Maybe you needed to hear this, a reminder to be kind and compassionate to everyone.

5-Frank Points Friday

Hi All!

Here is your weekly dose of “5-Frank Points Friday,” a list of what I’m pondering and exploring.

What I’m watching – This will be 3 in 1 point
Coherence (Tubitv), Predestination (Amazon Prime, iTunes), Triangle (Tubitv, YouTube). These movies were recommended to me by a friend of mine, and they didn’t disappoint. Great drama, horror, psychological thriller I have seen so far!

Podcast Episode I’m listening to –
How to Become Batman from the Invisibilia Podcast (Apple Podcast, Stitcher). In “How to Become Batman,” Alix and Lulu examine the surprising effect that our expectations can have on the people around us. You’ll hear how people’s expectations can influence how well a rat runs a maze. Plus, the story of a man who is blind and says expectations have helped him see. Yes. See. This journey is not without skeptics.

Question I’m Wrestling with –
If you woke up tomorrow morning, and you discovered that you only had 10 years to live, what would you stop doing?

What I wish for you in 2021 – This was yesterday’s post and here it is again.

I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you’ll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you’ll make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.
I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

Quote I’m pondering –
“You never know if a good day is a good day.”

And, as always, please give me feedback on Twitter. Which point above is your favorite? What do you want more or less of? Other suggestions? Please let me know. Just send a tweet to @realfrankibanga and put #5FrankPointsFriday at the end so I can find it.

Have a wonderful weekend, all.

Much love to you and yours,

Frank

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P.S: This is my last post for 2020. I’m taking the next few weeks to recharge myself, to evaluate how 2020 was for me, the lessons I learned, I’m setting new goals for 2021 and most importantly I’m going to rest. This has been a long and trying year for all of us, especially this time of the year and my heart goes out for those who lost loved ones, friends, colleagues, and those who are currently in hospitals fighting for their lives, my heart goes out for you. I hope 2021 is the light that we’re all waiting for and I can’t wait for this year to be over.
I wish you and yours a safe, happy, and healthy Christmas and A wonderful New Year! Take care of yourself, and if you can, someone else too.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

What I wish for you in 2021

These paragraphs were written by Neil Gaiman, and I couldn’t find better words to express what I wish for you in 2021. So here is my wish for you, for myself, and for all of us:

I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you’ll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you’ll make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.

So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

Good? Bad? Who knows?

Rohan dropped an other favorite post!!!!
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One of my favorite stories is about a farmer in ancient China who used an old horse in his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer’s neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

A week later, the horse returned with a herd of wild horses from the hills, and the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. He replied, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”

Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone again sympathized with the farmer over his bad luck. But the farmer’s reaction was, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and drafted every able-bodied youth they found. When they saw the farmer’s son with his broken leg, they let him stay.

Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?
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I love this story because it reminds me of a lesson I think and write about from time to time – you never know if a good day is a good day.

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P.S: This coming Friday the 18th, it will be my last post for this year. I’m going to take some time off to think about what I want to accomplish in 2021, reflect on the lessons I learned in 2020 and more importantly I want to take a break from this blog and all my social media and rest.

I wish you a wonderful and Merry Xmas and A happy and healthy New Year to you and Yours!

Take care of yourself, and if you can, someone else too!

Some roadblocks can’t be eliminated.

This morning when I woke up I was thinking, as I tend to do, for the first few minutes (usually I say 1 or 2 things I’m grateful for, or like this morning, I think about what I’m doing that day).

I had a realization about something that I have been struggling and fighting with, in all my relationship (spouse, friendship, parenting,…).
Every time I hit a road block, I tend to concentrate my energy in removing that road block. I spend to much time in finding ways I can eliminate that constraint because I don’t want future stress, frustration or disappointment. It’s a way to keep my future self, safe and in comfort.

I rarely find ways to go over, under, or around the road block.

I thought about this because some roadblocks can’t be eliminated, they are always going to be there.
Kudos to me for finally figuring this out, now the hard part comes: to put this into practice, to actually do it!

Cheers to the never ending journey of making ourselves better!

5-Frank Points Friday

Hi All!

Here is your weekly dose of “5-Frank Points Friday,” a list of what I’m pondering and exploring.

Cute Instagram videos of Intore dance from Rwanda –

Video 1, Video 2, Video 3. All of these videos are on Munyaneza Landry’s Instagram page which I found last night and thought I would share them with you.
The Intore dance is the most famous and longest established in Rwanda. Intore dancers perform a three component routine, which includes drums, the ballet performance by women and the dance of heroes by men. I hope you enjoy those videos.

Cool Instagram page I found

NWE(@nweworldwide) – An Instagram page that highlights African culture and it’s beauty. Check it out and you will see what I mean.

A funny and short podcast I enjoyed listening to –

Clover does a corn maze (Apple Podcast) – Jose Bolanos (@hilariousjose), one of my favorite Radio host/comedian does a phone tap. I couldn’t stop laughing!

What I’m thinking –

Rohan wrote something on his blog about Tony Hsieh, the co-founder of Zappos.com, who passed away a few days ago. He was a great leader and one I look up to! Here is part of the post:
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Tony Hsieh, the co-founder of Zappos.com, passed away a few days ago.

Fittingly, there was a lot of appreciation for all he brought to the world. Hsieh built a very unique customer and people centric culture at Zappos before it was sold to Amazon. He shared his approach in his lovely book – “Delivering Happiness.” And, after the Zappos sale, he also spent a lot of his time and energy attempting to revitalize the Las Vegas downtown.

A few days later, it emerged that he had been on a self destructive loop in the past months with far too much alcohol and drugs. The Forbes article detailing this is a sobering read.

I was reminded of three things at once.

First, COVID-19 has made 2020 a particularly difficult year for our collective mental and emotional wellbeing. In Tony Hsieh’s case, these challenges severely exacerbated existing problems and ultimately proved fatal. But, for those of us who know of friends and family who’re having mental health issues, let’s encourage them to get help and be as supportive as possible.

Second, Tony Hsieh became a hero for many after he wrote “Delivering Happiness.” I loved that book and thought of him as an enlightened leader after reading that book. But, as he wisely noted in the book – “Things are neither as good or as bad as they seem.” So true.

Finally, I was reminded of Dave Winer’s excellent blog post – “Your human-size life.” – it is one I think about from time to time. And, it is where my mind went after I read the final chapter of Tony Hsieh’s story.

Quote I’m pondering –

“Happiness is not overrated. When you luck into some, enjoy every minute of it.”

And, as always, please give me feedback on Twitter. Which point above is your favorite? What do you want more or less of? Other suggestions? Please let me know. Just send a tweet to @realfrankibanga and put #5FrankPointsFriday at the end so I can find it.

Have a wonderful weekend, all.

Much love to you and yours,

Frank